By: Shohaku Okumura
We usually think this meditation practice is to attain some kind of enlightenment or awakening, but Dogen said we should just sit without any expectation, even enlightenment, because we practice in order to get enlightenment and that is desire, our egocentric desire is still working there in search of truth. So from the very very beginning, we, in Dogen’s expression, “throw ourselves into the Way without expecting any reward.”
[My] teacher, Sawaki Kodo Roshi, said Zazen, this sitting meditation, is “good for nothing.” That is what I [also] recommend to people. Zazen without expectation or without a gaining mind or “Zazen is good for nothing” is a kind of a Koan. Even I, when I started to practice, had some expectation; …without expectation or goal, we cannot start to practice. Here is a kind of conflict; we usually call this a “way seeking mind.” Without this way seeking mind (or in Buddhist terms bodhicitta) we cannot start to practice. But the teaching is you should not even expect the answer. So here is a conflict; as we continue, this becomes a really serious question.
Sometimes we have to face a dead end. Deep in my heart I think to practice “good for nothing Zazen” is the most authentic practice in [the] Buddhist tradition. That’s why I’m OK, that’s why my life is meaningful. One day I found myself sitting alone. … I sat by myself and I found deep peace. That means, I don’t need to be a good boy. I can be just sitting. And I found that is really “Zazen that is good for nothing.” Before that I intellectually understood it, that it is good for nothing as a Buddhist philosophy. But because of what I felt [that day sitting alone] my life is OK and meaningful. When I couldn’t continue in that way, I felt my life is not valuable. But I [have] found that that is [our] ground: we need to practice without a desire to be a good boy, not only in the secular, mundane way, but even as a Buddhist. I became free from my desire to be a good Buddhist. Finally, I think I found [the] real meaning of “zazen is good for nothing” or “practice without expectation or gaining mind.” So just be there with this body and mind.
When we sit, we don’t really listen to anything, we don’t pay any attention. Even if the birds are singing, and we are sitting, if I listen to their singing, and think these are the birds, then it’s not Zazen any more. Even when I do this, there is a separation between a person sitting and the sound. There is an interesting koan story in Zen, (and Dogen liked this [koan],) a teacher asked a student, showing, pointing to the wind bell, and the teacher asked does the wind make the sound, or does the bell make the sound? Then the student said my mind makes the sound without wind or bell. That means when the wind blows, the wind bell makes a vibration. When that vibration of the air reaches my ear, then it becomes sound. So before the vibrations reaches my ear, there is no sound. Sound is only inside of our mind. But Dogen said that is not true. Even if my mind is working, if the wind doesn’t blow, and the wind bell doesn’t shake, and the air doesn’t vibrate, then there is no sound. So all of them are making the sound, that means the entire universe is making the sound. So there is no subject who listens or sound that is heard, that is what Dogen called Total Function. We are part of it, so there is no such person who is listening, no sound that comes to me, but this entire world is making that sound through this person, and this person is only a tiny part of it.
This is from the dharma talk, “Zen Master Shohaku Okumura Explains Why Meditation is Good for Nothing,” which can be found at: https://www.upworthy.com/zen-master-explains-why-meditation-good-for-nothing?rebelltitem=2#rebelltitem2