It's Not Over There, It's Inside Me

By Lisa Shelly

This morning when I woke up I had this thought or voice in my head that said, "I am over here trying to learn about over there."  WHO said that? Was I dreaming and someone said that to me?  I have read from some sources that Earth is a school.  What is it that I am ”trying” to learn in this Earth School?  And, why am I trying? Shouldn’t I just “sit” down and learn it?  “Trying” is not actually “doing.”   So, what is it that I am trying to learn that is over there? Then I thought, Just Show Up. I am learning about Buddha's teachings at Just Show Up. Reality is here and the spirit world is over there? Then, during the sit this morning I realized it's not over there, it's inside me. I am learning about myself. Then, I remembered Dogen’s line “to study the Buddha Way is to study the self.”

Note: See the post on this website’s Readings Page titled “The Priceless Pearl” dated February 18, 2025, which relates well with Lisa’s reflections.

Silent Illumination as Subtle Activity

By: Bob Zeglovitch

Today, we began our Practice Period on Silent Illumination: The Method of No Method at the Root of Soto Zen Practice. This practice—of just sitting without any particular object of meditation and without any sense of moving ourself toward a goal—is subtle. As a result, it can be easy to slide off and to forget the practice—to fall into a sleepy or trance state, to become entangled in and captured by thoughts and emotions, to become confused about our practice, or to reflexively crave particular states of mind and body.

While Silent Illumination practice is subtle, it does involve dynamic and alive activity within the relative stillness of the seated (or other) posture. I’d like to suggest approaching the practice as a verb, or series of verbs. This can help shift us away from becoming attached to particular states of mind (adjectives like calm, peaceful, concentrated, etc.) and remind us that there is a method of sorts within this “no method” practice. We are not without guidance in this empty field with no apparent handholds! Hopefully the following list of verbs will serve as a helpful touchstone from which to begin, teasing out different aspects of the practice. As you play with the practice, there may be times when one or the other of these subtle activities is most prominent, or feels like it needs the most attention. And, in some ways one might say that each of the verbs is encompassed within or expresses the others.

Sitting (or other posture): The beginning, middle and end. Taking our time to establish our posture, to find alignment and resilience. The whole body, expressing itself right now in this position, just as it is, right here in the middle of everything, moment to moment, upright and balanced, relatively still and yet dynamically alive and moving subtly with breath.

Relaxing: Noticing areas of tension and clinging and inviting the body (and mind) to relax its literal grip. Returning and repeating to this as things change and tension and clinging resurface and are known. Nothing to force here—we are not at war with the sensations of our body (see “Allowing” below).

Opening: Expanding awareness to take in body, and mind, and environment. Noticing when we have restricted our awareness to one of those domains and opening up to the others. It is like adjusting a camera lens to wide angle.

Allowing: No objects of our senses, including thoughts or emotions, are prohibited or have to be prevented. Thoughts and emotions will come and need not be resisted. Lay out the welcome mat to the whole works—see if there ease in not picking and choosing? This gets to the essence of the practice, which is nonreactivity rather than the character of the particular objects arising in our awareness.

Investigating: A spirit of direct inquiry, beyond categories, names and analysis. Embodying the question, “what is this?” without expecting or conjuring up an answer. No need to speak the question, although a soft inner voice from time to time to keep the spark lit may help. The Chan master Hongzhi said: “With thoughts clear, sitting silently, wander into the circle of wonder.”

Experiencing: Being fully with whatever is in your mind and body, all the way from the moment it emerges to the moment it fades to nothing. Allowing the texture and particularity of the moment to be felt and known without labelling.

Releasing and Letting Go: The companion to allowing. We don’t have to block things or make them go away, but neither do we have to hang on or become entangled. Releasing and letting go is simply leaving the objects of our awareness to be as they are—dynamically appearing, staying for a while, and then vanishing without our having to do anything. This is the moment to moment enactment of non-craving and non-aversion.

Remembering: As with any practice, when we find ourselves getting lost, we remember that we are practicing this method of no-method, and return to sitting, relaxing, opening, allowing, investigating, experiencing and letting go. The is the functioning of mindfulness.

Over time, as familiarity with the various dimensions of the practice grows, one might collapse the list into fewer words, or even a single word. In Rebecca Li’s Illumination she emphasizes “nonreactivity.” She also quotes her teachers Simon Child and John Crook’s “mantra” of “let through, let be, let go.” One of our sangha members this morning expressed that “allowing” was the essence of the practice for him. Something simple like this can serve as our reminder to return to the “method.”

Shitou's Harmony of Difference and Equality--The Background

By: Bob Zeglovitch

This Friday at JSU we will begin a long and slow process of unpacking, at some level, the meaning of the Harmony of Difference and Equality (“Harmony”), a seminal Chan teaching poem that is recited regularly in Soto Zen temples around the world. The authorship of Harmony is attributed to Shitou Xigian (700-790). All existing branches of Zen throughout the world are said to descend either from Shitou or from his contemporary Mazu Daoyi. Shitou was a student of Dajian Huineng, the illiterate and legendary “Sixth Ancestor” in China. See the blog entry dated September 21, 2023 and titled “Fukanzazengi: No Dust, No Mirror” for a description of the famous but likely apocryphal poetry contest that is recounted in the Soto Zen tradition as the basis for Huineng’s dharma transmission. After Huineng’s death, Shitou became a student of Huineng’s successor, Qingyuan Xingsi.

The title of Harmony is the same as that of a 2nd-century Taoist text on alchemy by the poet Wei Po Yang. This text detailed esoteric practices that were supposed to enable one to gain immortality or to become a deity. It was obviously still a recognized text in Shitou’s time, and we can see his borrowing of the title as part of the process through which Indian Buddhism mingled with Taoist understandings to form a new and culturally responsive form. Chan Master Sheng Yen (1931-2009) notes that when Buddhism came to China, Sakyamuni Buddha was given a Taoist name—-The Perfectly Enlightened Highest Deity—in order to form a connection between Buddhist teaching and Taoist tradition. Shitou was therefore drawing a metaphoric connection between becoming a deity and becoming a Buddha. Sheng Yen also notes that there is an allusion within the title of Harmony to becoming a buddha through meditation, which bears some similarities to Taoist practices.

The title of this poem in Japanese is Sandokai. Harmony of Difference and Equality is only one of many English translations. Some others include: Merging of Difference and Unity; Harmony of Difference and Sameness; Identity of Relative and Absolute; Agreement of Difference and Unity; and Inquiry Into Matching Halves.

At the risk of enormous oversimplification, Harmony delves into the relationship between the ultimate empty, boundless and wondrously unfathomable nature of reality on the one hand, and the particular and relative form world that is familiar to us on the other.

Our effort to better understand the meaning of the Harmony will be undertaken with the utmost humility. In this connection, Chan master Sheng Yen, who was a renowned scholar and practitioner, noted in his commentary on Harmony that it is a difficult work, and that since he was not Shitou, he was sure that he had not fully and clearly explained the poem. We will be using helpful commentary by Shohaku Okumura, a highly regarded Soto Zen teacher and scholar, from the book Living By Vow. Other excellent resources on this poem are Sheng Yen’s The Infinite Mirror and Suzuki Roshi’s Branching Streams Flow In the Darkness.

Heart Sutra: Dramatis Personae

By: Bob Zeglovitch

In the last post, we introduced the Heart Sutra. The Bodhisattva Avalokiteshvara’s instructions on wisdom beyond wisdom are given to the Buddha’s chief disciple Shariputra. Prajanaparamita is the principle of wisdom beyond wisdom and is also personified in the Mahayana tradition as “the mother of all Buddhas.” Here are images of Shariputra (first image from Bodh Gaya India, the site of the Buddha’s awakening; second image a gilded statute from Burma), Avalokiteshvara, and Prajnaparamita.

Introducing the Heart Sutra

By: Bob Zeglovitch

This morning, we began to chant the Heart Sutra as part of our regular practice, adding it to the Harmony of Difference and Equality which we have chanted regularly for several years. The Heart Sutra is the most recited and copied sutra in the Mahayana tradition of Buddhism, and is central in Zen liturgy. It dates to approximately 350 CE and originated in northern India, although its precise origins remain somewhat obscure. The short text is one of approximately 38 sutras in what are known as the Prajna Paramita sutras (the sutras of Transcendent Wisdom). These are core early texts in the Mahayana tradition, which centers around the teaching of emptiness and the bodhisattva ideal. The bodhisattva ideal was a response to the model of the arhat (person who has attained full enlightenment) prevalent in early Buddhism, in which the practitioner gained individual liberation. In the bodhisattva tradition, the practitioner works for the liberation of all beings.

The doctrine of emptiness (in the translation we are using this term is called boundlessness) was a philosophical response to the Abhidharma tradition in Buddhism. Abhidharma is an umbrella term for a number of systems that were developed to categorize what was understood to constitute the types of conscious experience in terms of various factors and relationships—called the “dharmas”. In a sense, the dharmas could be likened to the building blocks of our experience in the phenomenal world, appearing and disappearing rapidly and in an infinitely complex web of relationships and causal chains. At least some Buddhist schools held that these dharmas constituted actual fundamental and indivisible elements of reality. Nevertheless, because of their radically impermanent and complex nature, they were consistent with an understanding of not-self, or anatta. Under this approach, the understanding was that there was no ego, body or mind behind a collection of impermanent elements. The Mahayana tradition represented a radical break from this rationalistic approach, and held that all dharmas, all phenomena, are empty of intrinsic existence and nature.

The Soto Zen teacher Shohaku Okumura describes emptiness in this way: “Even the fundamental elements are empty. This means that eye, ear, nose and tongue don’t function separately, buy only as a whole. They are all connected with each other. That is one meaning of emptiness. Nothing can exist as an independent entity and everything functions as part of a larger system. This perspective is called nondiscrimination mind or nondiscrimination wisdom.

In the Heart Sutra, the Bodhisattva Avalokiteshvara is addressing Shariputra and expounding on emptiness. Avalokiteshvara is the Bodhisattva of compassion—named Kuan Yin in China and Kannon or Kanzeon in Japan, male in India and female in China, Japan, Korea and Tibet. A translation which encompasses several meanings of the name is “the lord who beholds the doings of the phenomenal world and hears its cries of compassion.” Avalokiteshvara has a thousand arms and an eye in the palm of each hand, through which she is able to help all those in need, in a skillful manner appropriate to the individual situation.

Shariputra was one of the two principle disciples of the Buddha, and was known as the “Marshall of the Dhamma”, renowned for his ability to understand and teach the dharma, including the understanding of anatta or not self. Although scholars date the beginnings of the Abhidharma schools to a couple of hundred years after the Buddha, the Theravadin school maintains that the Buddha taught the Abhidharma to Shariputra, who was the founder of this scholastic approach based on the categories of “dharmas.” His appearance as the listener in this text therefore makes rhetorical sense, since he is being instructed by the Bodhisattva of compassion on the teachings of emptiness that go beyond the Abhidharma understanding.

There is another character that appears at various places in the sutra—Prajnaparamita. In the Kaz Tanahashi/Joan Halifax translation that we are using this appears simply as “wisdom beyond wisdom.” While it is accurately represented as describing the highest form of wisdom or the perfection of wisdom, it is also personified in Mahayana cosmology as “the mother of all buddhas.” In Mu Soeng’s excellent book The Heart of the Universe: Exploring the Heart Sutra, he states, “if we interpret the mother as a source from which all things are born, we will understand the wisdom of shunyata or emptiness as the source of liberation for all buddhas and bodhisattvas.”

The chant ends with the mantra, Gate, Gate, Paragate, Parasamgate, Bodhi Svaha! Gate, Gate means “gone, gone.” Paragate means “gone beyond.” Parasamgate means “gone completely beyond—to the other shore of samsara, the sea of suffering.” Bodhi means “the Awakened Mind.” Svaha is the Sanskrit word for homage or proclamation. Mu Soeng renders the complete mantra as follows: “Homage to the Awakend Mind which has gone over to the other shore.” He notes that the critical word is “beyond”, which can also be translated as “transcendent”. The other shore is a reference to the nirvanic realm, a place of ease and tranquility, refuge and safety. However, in Zen the understanding is that nirvana is to be found within samsara.

There is much more, of course that could be said about this essential and dense sutra, but hopefully this provides some basic orientation. Mu Soeng’s book is excellent for a deeper dive, as is The Heart Sutra by Red Pine.

Ringing out the Old Year, Ringing in the New, Zen Style

By: Bob Zeglovitch

This morning at Just Show Up, we recognized the turn of the new year with what has become a tradition for our sangha, ringing 108 bells. This is based on a Japanese Buddhist and Shinto New Year’s tradition (joya no kane) where the temple bell is rung 108 times, with the last ring coming just after midnight. The tolling represents the cleansing of 108 worldly passions, the multitude of desires and negative emotions that humanity grapples with, which lead to suffering and hinder spiritual growth.

There are different understandings on where the number 108 comes from. One is that it is the product of the six senses (sight, sound, taste, smell, touch and consciousness) times the three “feelings” or vedanas of negative, positive, and neutral (totalling 18 feelings), times the two ways these feelings can manifest as either pure or contaminated (totalling 36 passions), times the three ways each passion can be formed in either the past, present, or future—resulting in 108 defllements of mind. In other formulations, names are given to each of the defilements (e.g., capriciousness, hypocrisy, derision, etc.). In any even, each toll of the bell is taken as a release from these worldly attachments, enabling the participants to start the year anew.

In our adaptation of this ritual, we invite sangha members during the first to briefly give voice during the intervals between the first 54 bells to people or events from the past year that they want to acknowledge, or things that they would like to release—and during the remaining intervals to give voice to their hopes and wishes for the coming year. This morning, there was a beautiful mix of silence between the rings and reflections from sangha members, within the contemplative container established by this simple ritual. The spoken reflections represented a tapestry of the human condition: among other things, deaths, illness, worldly turmoil and fear, major transitions, hope, connection, and gratitude for each other and for the practice. There was a sense of bearing witness to our human experience, both collective and individual. All in all, a wonderful way to start the year.

In this new year, may all beings be safe and protected, may all beings be happy and peaceful, may all beings be healthy or at least have some ease amidst challenging physical and mental circumstances, and may all beings live their lives with ease and realize their true nature.

A Winter Solstice Dedication

By: Bob Zeglovitch

This morning, we conducted a full moon service. After the Enmei Jukku Kannon Gyo (one translation: Life Extending Ten Line Kannon Sutra), there is a dedication, or eko, which is chanted by the doan. The point of the eko is to dedicate the energy and merit of the practice to all beings. This morning, while I had added a special portion of the eko that recognized the Winter Solstice, my printed version omitted it! After the service ended I chanted it separately for those who were in attendance. I include this portion of the eko below:

At this time of the Winter Solstice, in the midst of great darkness, may we continue our practice with diligence, opening our hearts with compassion toward ourselves and all beings, acknowledging our karma and vowing to uphold the Bodhisattva Precepts;

And may the coming light dispel greed, anger and ignorance in our heart/minds and in the heart/minds of all sentient beings.

May peace and justice prevail in this world and in all worlds, and may all beings realize their true nature, wondrously particular and wholly boundless.

Celebrating Buddha's AwakeningSha

By: Bob Zeglovitch

Today, our sangha celebrated Shakyamuni Buddha’s awakening, in concert with observations and meditation taking place around the globe in Mahayana Buddhist communities. We recited the story of the Buddha’s enlightenment, conducted a service, and discussed how we personally related to the story and legend of the Buddha.

In the Longer Discourse Saccaka in the Middle Length Discourses of the Pali Canon, the Buddha described his awakening as follows:

During the first watch of the night, the Buddha discovered all of his past lives in the cycle of rebirth, realizing that he had been born and reborn countless times before. During the second watch, the Buddha discovered the Law of Karma, and the importance of living by the Noble Eightfold Path. During the third watch, the Buddha discovered the Four Noble Truths, finally reaching Nirvana.

In his words: My heart, thus knowing, thus seeing, was released from the fermentation of sensuality, released from the fermentation of ignorance. With release, there was the knowledge, “Released.” I discerened that “Birth” is ended, the holy life fulfilled, the task done. There is nothing further for this world."

In the Dhammapada, the Buddha is reported to have uttered the following after his enlightenment:

“Through the round of many births I roamed without reward, without rest, seeking the house-builder. Painful is birth again & again. House-builder, you're seen! You will not build a house again. All your rafters broken, the ridge pole dismantled, immersed in dismantling, the mind has attained to the end of craving.”

In our service this morning, the doan chanted the following eko (a dedication of merit which today also served the purpose of a grateful recognition of the Buddha’s awakening):

The sky of samadhi and the moonlight of wisdom form the temple of our practice. Our friends and family members guide us as we walk the ancient path. We honor the immeasurable goodness of Buddhas and Bodhisattvas. May their compassion embrace us. We express our profound gratitude for Buddhas and Bodhisattvas. May their wondrous power enter our heart.

On this auspicious day,

We commemorate the Buddha Shakyamuni’s awakening, His enlightenment has radiated throughout time and space, benefitting countless beings

 All Buddhas come into the world but rarely, and are hard to meet,
and when they appear in the world,
It’s hard for them to speak the Dharma.
Throughout countless ages, too,
It’s difficult to hear this Dharma.
And those who can hear this Dharma--
Such people too, are rare,
Like the udumbara flower,
In which all take delight,
Which the gods and humans prize, for it blooms but once in countless eonss.

The Dharma is vast and subtle; we now have a chance to hear it, study it, and practice it. We vow to realize its true meaning. 

The passage about the Buddhas coming into the world but rarely (and ending with the commentary about the udumbara flower) is taken from the second chapter of the Lotus Sutra, which is a seminal Mahayana text from third century China. The last two sentences are traditionally chanted before a dharma talk is given. We felt that they fit well here, as we recognized the Buddha’s accomplishment, its rarity, and our chance in this lifetime to study, practice and realize the Buddha’s teachings.

Our Genjo(koan) Sangha

By: Bob Zeglovitch

Shohaku Okumura translates the character for "Gen" in Eihei Dogen’s Genjokoan as "to appear", "to be in the present moment", and "to show up"!  So, the Just Show Up Zen Sangha name has this wonderful affinity with the title of this classic Soto Zen text.  ("Jo" means "to become", "to complete," or "to accomplish"--so Genjo as a compound means "to manifest,", "to actualize," or "to appear and become."). The complex and multifaceted meaning of “koan” is saved for another day.

To "Study" the Buddha Way is to Study the Self

By: Bob Zeglovitch

At our last session, we looked some at what it means to be a student of the dharma. One of our jumping off places was the famous line In Dogen’s Genjokoan (often translated as Actualizing the Fundamental Point), “To study the Buddha Way is to study the self.” Shohaku Okumura, in his book Realizing Genjokoan, unpacks the meaning of “study”, in part through his translations of the Japanese word and Chinese character.

The Japanese word translated as “study” is “narau,” which originates from the word “nareru,” which means: “to get accustomed to”, “to become familiar with”, “to get used to”, “to become intimate with.”  Study is therefore much more than just the intellectual investigation of a subject, although it can certainly include that.

In the Chinese character, the upper part is a symbol for the wings of a bird and the lower part means “self.”  So, it points to studying something in the way a baby bird “studies” flying with its parents.  The baby bird possesses the potential to fly, but must watch its parents to learn how to actually perform the action of flying.  The baby watches and tries until can fly.  This is the meaning of study as in “to study the self.” 

Okumura also points out that when we truly practice or study the Self, there is no separation between I, self, Buddha Way, study and practice. When we practice the self, I is the self and there is no I apart from the activity of studying. Subject, object, and activity are all completely one thing. However, he kindly acknowledges that to speak, we must use concepts and language and say “I study the self,” or “I study the Buddha Way.”

The entire verse from Genjokoan reads:

To study the Buddha Way is to study the self.

To study the Self is to forget the self.

To forget the self is to be verified by all things.

To be verified by all things is to let the body and mind of the self and the body and mind of others drop off.

There is a trace of realization that cannot be grasped.

We endlessly express the ungraspable trace of realization.

Some Ways of Opening Up to Samadhi and Relating to it Wisely

By: Bob Zeglovitch

At a recent session of Just Show Up (October 11—dharma talk posted on the website), we dipped our toes briefly into the vast topic of samadhi (concentration, collectedness and unification of mind/body).  While samadhi is not the goal of Zen practice, it is not unrelated to it.  One can find various references to samadhi in the Zen literature of our tradition (for examples, see the quotes from Dogen and John Daido Loori on our Readings page).  Samadhi can arise organically as we practice “just sitting” zazen, but it can also be intentionally cultivated and appreciated as a resource—allowing us to navigate challenging mind and body states, opening up possibilities for us to see more deeply into our moment-to-moment experience, and providing a “platform” for letting go.  Samadhi most commonly arises during a retreat, but its qualities can be recognized in less extended meditation practice as well as in daily life. 

There are various “entry points” to samadhi, including practices like following or counting the breath that are sometimes suggested to beginning Zen students.  At our recent session we touched on some other modes of attention that can be useful, and I thought it might be helpful to set down some brief reminders.  I’m drawing here from Rob Burbea’s book, Seeing That Frees: Meditations on Emptiness and Dependent Arising.  He helpfully characterizes samadhi as, among other things, a caring for heart and mind and a condition of harmonization and well-being.   

While concentration can arise from narrowing the focus of attention to a specific area of sensation in the body (e.g., the breath as felt at the upper lip of the nostrils or somewhere in the abdomen), a contrasting approach is to allow the awareness to take in the wider field of the whole body.  In doing so, you can orient the awareness to the “felt sense”, which you may experience as texture, vibration, energy,  or tone.  Burbea encourages filling that space with an “aliveness of awareness, of presence, that permeates the entire body.”  Invariably, there will be a tendency for the awareness to shrink to a smaller area in the body—perhaps to a place of contraction, tenseness, or pain/discomfort.  The suggestion at this point is to notice the narrowing and then to “stretch” the awareness back to the whole field of the body.  This “stretching out” of the awareness is something that you might wind up doing a number of times during a meditation session. 

A variant of the above approach is to mix the awareness of the whole body with another object of mind, such as the breath or mettā (in Early Buddhism, mettā practice is understood as functioning to develop concentration).  If you choose this mode, you can play with attending to how the changing characteristics of breath or mettā impact the felt sense in the body.  You might find yourself moving back and forth between breath/mettā and the whole body.

Burbea encourages opening to and being sensitive to any areas of pleasantness within the body. This may be quite subtle or modest—just work with whatever is present.  It can be helpful to “tune into” this sense, to enjoy it, and to see if it can expand further in the body.  There is no rule that you cannot enjoy your meditation!  The overall sense here is to gently encourage feelings of well-being and harmonization/unification, without making a big effort or feeling like you need to create some experience or hang on to pleasant feelings, which may of course come and go during your meditation.  If you discover pleasant sensations, you can lightly take that bodily feeling of well-being as an object of attention. You don’t have to bear down and use willpower, but instead can proceed with an open and receptive awareness. 

When you notice areas of contraction or discomfort, one way to respond is to breathe in and out of the area, or to breathe through the area, seeing if the energetic motion of the breath gracefully brings any change to the area of difficulty.  Don’t worry if thoughts come—just see if you can allow them to come and go without giving them much attention. 

There are many other modes of awareness that can foster the arising of samadhi.  I hope these couple of examples will give you some possibilities for practice and play that are alternatives to simply following the breath.  Whether you are new to Zen meditation or an old hand, it can be helpful to deliberately practice the cultivation of samadhi/concentration, so that it may be more available to you.  You might “cross train” by setting aside particular sitting sessions devoted to this cultivation.  Or you could practice the gentle cultivation of samadhi more consistently, for a number of weeks or months, making sure to be kind to yourself so as not to measure some sense of progress.  If you are practicing the more subtle “just sitting”/shikantaza that is characteristic of Soto Zen (another big topic!), you could play with “establishing your seat” for a portion of your sit through some cultivation of samadhi, and then open up to shikantaza. 

Samadhi is a tricky area, because we can easily become confused and think that it is the end goal of practice, or become entranced by the pleasure that can accompany a relatively concentrated mind/body and develop unhelpful cravings for something we think is special.  Or, we can get lost in a kind of fuzzy trance-like state that we take to be samadhi.  We can also wind up solidifying a sense of self, either because we believe that there is some “I” that is responsible for creating samadhi and that we are either “good at it” or “bad at it”—or that we “have it” or “don’t have it”.  It is probably most helpful to think of samadhi as being on a continuum rather than an “on/off” switch or a succession of levels.  On some occasions there will be more collectedness and on other occasions there will be less.  Many factors are at play. We have an opportunity to develop a wise relationship with samadhi, seeing that it is accessible, that it comes and goes with various causes and conditions and is not our personal possession, and that its characteristics of collectedness and well-being can assist us in our practice.

A Second Personal Mettā Story: Finding Mettā as a Fruit of Dharma Practice

By: Bob Zeglovitch

We generally think of mettā as something that results from a specific practice, like repeating the mettā phrases. Of course, it is that. However, mettā can also arise without our directed intention, sometimes as a fruit of our meditation and dharma practice. It is good to know this and to be open to recognizing mettā when it arises organically in this way.

On a lengthy retreat that I did in Lumbini, Nepal under the direction of Sayadaw U Vivekananda, in the Burmese Vipassana tradition of Mahasi Sayadaw, I had an experience that put this in high relief for me. The retreat was focused on the development of insight, with the meditation instructions beginning with the close observation of the rise and fall of the abdomen, and progressing from there in various ways to the arising and passing away of all phenomena, seeing dukkha (suffering), impermanence and not-self in visceral ways. I met every other day with the Sayadaw (teacher) and on every other day with his assistant, a Burmese nun named Sayalay Bhadda Manika. At each meeting, I made very specific reports on my meditation experiences, based on notes that I was keeping as instructed. The Sayadaw “charted” my development in a notebook he kept for all the meditators, and adjusted the meditation instructions accordingly. It was a challenging practice that led to various striking and first-time experiences for me—not to mention a great deal of physical and mental discomfort. All of these experiences were necessary, integral and important components of the progression of insight in this particular tradition. One of the unusual and challenging experiences is understood in this tradition as the insight knowledge of fear. This is an experience of dukkha, related to a direct perception of the radical impermanence of all phenomena, and is important to this story.

There was no explicit mettā practice during the retreat, with the exception of a beautiful mettā chant that we sang at the end of each long day. On the 28th day of the retreat, not too long after I had gone through the dukkha insight experience of fear, the Sayadaw gave me a list of ten things to pay close attention, one of which was to check my relationship to other retreatants, whether it was loving-kindness or other states. He made clear that I was not to try to manufacture anything. In fact, another one of the things that he told me to keep an eye out for was that at this point was any change to my mental state that was on the unwholesome side, noting that I should be mindful of it and not take it personally.

As was the case on numerous other occasions during my retreats with him, on this day Sayadaw Vivekananda knew exactly where my mind was and where it was headed. This was due to his skill in guiding meditators but also because of the natural and “lawful” progression of this style of practice. It was quite uncanny.

Just before I had my interview with him, I had noticed that my attitude toward my fellow retreatants had changed—I had new feelings of warmth toward them, noticed that I was going out of my way to be accommodating to others, and also that I had a clear sense of sympathetic joy (mudita) toward other retreatants and their apparent progress on the path (based on their questions after the dharma talks). Shortly after my interview, I saw a fellow retreatant on the walking path. I knew nothing about her, but instantly and spontaneously knew that the one thing we shared in common was dukkha, and my heart naturally and without effort opened to her.

This is simply one example of how mettā can arise on its own as a result of practice. You don’t have to be immersed in an intensive retreat for a month in a practice like this for mettā to emerge. This instance sticks out for me because it was an unusual experience and because it tracked so elegantly with a very skilled teacher’s guidance and knowledge about the unfolding that occurs with this practice. The mind of mettā can emerge from in different practice settings and under different circumstances and at any time. The main point that I want to make is that even when we are not pursuing mettā as an explicit practice, we can simply be mindful of our relationships with others, to see if this quality of mind is present. It is important not to miss mettā if it arises—and our mindfulness of it will enhance its impact.

A Personal Mettā Story: At Death's Doorstep

By Bob Zeglovitch:

I’ve had a handful of personally compelling experiences with mettā in my life, and I thought I would share them on this blog during our practice period. I do this not because I think I have any special capacity for mettā. Instead, I simply hope that these experiences will serve as some examples of how mettā can be a powerful force. I am very grateful for these few instances in my life. They serve as wholesome memories for me and remind me of what is possible. I’ve told a couple of these stories before in our sangha, but some of our members have not heard them (or some have perhaps forgotten them!) and I’ll try to add a twist or two that will in any event hopefully make the re-telling worthwhile.

My first story has to do with my father’s death. My dad was often difficult to be around. He could be cutting, sarcastic, and mean at times. Later in life my relationship with him improved (although he could still be quite churlish). He had a misanthropic streak and lacked friends or any social network. My mom died shortly after he retired, and he spent many years alone, surviving a difficult bout with cancer. In his 80’s, he developed dementia. It was a somewhat slow decline, and he fiercely resisted getting the help he needed, living independently at a great distance from me and my two brothers, with the wheels slowly falling off. Thankfully, circumstances eventually came together which enabled us to place him a very nice memory care unit. When he arrived there, the presence of a community seemed to open something up in him, a kindness and gentleness that was not evident previously.

While my dad had dementia, he knew who he was talking to and he could sometimes carry on relatively cogent conversations, amidst some bizarre ideations and significant memory lapses. There was some renewed difficulty in our relationship because he was paranoid about money, and I was the executor of his estate and had power of attorney to manage his finances. Unfortunately, I became a target for his sense of loss of control and his fear that someone was going to take advantage of him. I worked through this with him the best that I could, trying to reassure him that his assets were safe and no one was stealing from him.

At some point, as a result of a pretty clear intention on his part, he stopped eating and went into hospice. I thought that it might be a good thing to offer him mettā as he faced death. It was immediately apparent to me that the traditional mettā phrases would not be suitable for a dying person, so I developed my own phrases, as follows: (1) May your mind be clear and spacious, free from fear or worry; (2) May your body be relaxed and free from pain; (3) May your heart be open and filled with love; (4) May you be free of any clinging to this life and any craving for future existence; and (5) May your journey be peaceful and filled with ease.

I told my dad what I was going to be doing and he signaled that he was open to it. He did not know much about Buddhism and was not spiritual or religious—although he had always been curious about the mind and consciousness. He was not prone to the softer and emotional side of life, so I wondered how this would go. The family members who were present gathered around his bed and I slowly recited the phrases out loud, with everyone else joining in silently. After a number of minutes of the recitation, he made a face and starting gesturing with his index finger toward his chest. I thought he might be in pain or distress, and I leaned in to ask him what he was trying to communicate. He whispered, ”I understand, in my heart.” It was a beautiful—and truly surprising—moment, with the gift of mettā landing and opening his heart at just the right time. And yet, at the same time there was a tragic element to this—the fact his heart was not more open during his life, when he and others could have benefitted.

As I reflect back on this, a few things stand out for me. First, I’m very grateful that I had been exposed to and trained in mettā practice, so that I could share it with my dad when he needed it. In a more general sense, I can say that my dharma practice gave me enough stability to think of offering this practice and then to carry it out. Second, this was an instance where giver and receiver (and perhaps the gift itself) became hard to separate. I could say that I gave the gift of mettā to my dad, but I was receiving the gift at the same time. His relatively peaceful death was of great benefit to me, as was this moment between us. Third, while mettā is often a solitary practice where we cultivate our wishes for goodwill silently to ourselves, even as we are radiating them out to others, this was making the practice more explicitly interpersonal and relational. While it may not always be appropriate or possible to vocalize our mettā to others, we can look for opportunities where it may be received. We might have to take the risk that it will not land well, but we can use our intuition and discernment. Finally, we can use our best efforts to be creative in how we adapt mettā to the circumstances at hand, using language that has the best chance of expressing our intention and “hitting the mark.”

A wonderful resource along these lines is Roshi Joan Halifax’s short paper on The Boundless Abodes for Caregiving, Dying, Grieving. (Hyperlinked here). I hope that you will remember this resource and that it will be of benefit to you and to other beings as you and/or they face one of these challenges.

What's Love Got to Do With It? The Nature of Metta

By: Bob Zeglovitch

In the West, mettā is most commonly translated as as loving-kindness. This translation has a certain appeal—who wouldn’t want to develop love and kindness toward self and others? For those who have been raised in a Christian tradition, the injunction to love may feel familiar in a religious context. In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus says: “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.” When we practice mettā, however, we may begin to feel a rub that comes from this common translation. It is not so easy to express love toward everyone. For instance, try as I might, I cannot really muster love for Donald Trump, or for Vladimir Putin. And, I’ll admit that I’m frankly a bit suspicious of someone who claims that they can (that is, other than one of their followers). There may be some wishful thinking at work, or a lack of clarity and/or truthfulness. The ultimate aim of mettā is to develop an impartial wish for happiness and good will toward all beings—so if our conception of mettā is that it means love, we may well have a hard time in cultivating this kind of heart/mind. In our lives, we tend to be partial toward people we love. We don’t see them impartially, as just like everyone else.

Thanissaro Bhikkhu reminds us that the Pali word for love is not mettā, but instead is pema. Mettā is instead related to the Pali word mitta, which means “friend.” Some commentators accordingly use the term friendliness for metta. For me, this is a little better but sort of runs into the same challenge posed by the word “love”—as in, I’m not friends with everyone. Thanissaro uses the word “goodwill” for mettā. He notes that there are two reasons why thinking of mettā as goodwill makes sense:

“The first is that goodwill is an attitude that you can express toward everyone without fear of being hypocritical or unrealistic, [and] [i]t recognizes that people become truly happy not as a result of your caring for them but as a result of their own skillful actions and that the happiness of self-reliance is greater than any happiness coming from dependency. The second reason is that goodwill is a more skillful feeling to have toward those who would react unskillfully to your loving-kindness. There are people who, when seeing that you want to express lovingkindess, would be quick to take advantage of it. There are also people you’ve harmed in the past who would rather not have anything to do with you ever again, so the intimacy of lovingkindness would actually be a source of pain for them.”

Thanissaro Bhikkhu, The Sublime Attitudes, page 17.

I appreciate Thanissaro’s realistic assessment. He says that when we extend thoughts of mettā to others, we are not offering to make them happy, as we might in a loving relationship, but rather are expressing the wish that they take responsibility for their happiness themselves. You are happy to provide help if there is anything that you can do, but you realize you can only do so much.

I don’t mean to knock love and loving-kindness! If your heart opens most readily by using lovingkindness rather than goodwill, by all means do what comes naturally. There are certainly times when that is true for me. I would just say that you might keep one eye open as to whether you are creating any unnecessary struggle within by trying to extend love where it is not naturally present, or in a situation where it is not the most skillful. Thanissaro comments, “[i]f you truly feel mettā for yourself and others, you can’t let your desire for warm feelings of love and intimacy blind you to what would actually be the most skillful way to promote true happiness for all.” The Sublime Attitudes, page 17.

We don’t have to feel “less than” if we acknowledge that we don’t love everyone. It is no mean feat to cultivate a heart/mind that moves in the direction of freely offering goodwill to all beings!

Note: For more on this theme, see the links to Thanissaro Bhikkhu’s free e-book The Sublime Attitudes, as well as his article in Lion’s Roar, “When Goodwill is Better than Love”, both of which are hyperlinked here.

Practicing with Metta Phrases

By: Bob Zeglovitch

At our last session, we began a practice period on metta (loving kindness, or good will). During our first guided meditation, we practiced metta toward ourselves using the “phrases approach.” The phrases we used were: (1) May I be free from harm; (2) May I be happy and peaceful; (3) May I be healthy and strong; and (4) May I live my life with ease.

In my experience, it can be very helpful to be flexible and creative when it comes to practicing with metta phrases. For example, during the meditation on Friday, I realized that repeating the wish “may I be healthy” when one is dealing with a chronic or serious health condition may not be the most skillful way to proceed—so i suggested an alternative along the lines of “May i live with my current condition of bodily and mental health as best I can.” Obviously there could be many different ways to modify a phrase like this.

Some of the phrases may just not suit you well, and you could play with them so that the practice feels like it flows and lands, and that it opens your heart. In order to remember the phrases and keep the practice simple, you can try just landing on the key words—e.g., without harm, peaceful, healthy, ease.

Here are some variants of the certain phrases: (1) In place of “May I be free from harm” you can say, “May I be safe and protected”; you could also say “May I be free from outer and inner danger”; (2) May I be strong and healthy in mind and body, and if that’s not possible, may I still experience moments of well-being and joy in the body I have. (3) May I care for myself with ease and joy, and if that’s not possible, may I be cared for with ease and joy; (4) May I be happy, truly, truly happy. Nos. 2-4 above are taken from Arisika Razak, a teacher at the East Bay Meditation Center.

As you play with this practice, one option might be to just stay close to one phrase for an extended period, perhaps the entire meditation, or until you feel ready to move onto another phrase (as opposed to cycling through the sequence of phrases again and again).

There may also be special circumstances in which we wish to offer metta for ourselves and others, such as caregiving, dying, or grieving. The “standard” phrases may not fit well here, so modifications are again in order. I’ll visit this in future posts.

Working with the phrases requires (and develops) concentration and persistence. As with the practice of following the breath, we will lose our focus and forget which phrase we are on (or the practice entirely!) and then need to return. We don’t need to worry about being perfect with this, but can simply pick up with whatever phrase comes readily, or perhaps by just going back to the first phrase in the sequence.

One potential that comes from working with phrases is that one or more of them may become reflexive, so that it is readily available to you during the day and in moments of need, as opposed to just during a formal meditation practice.

May you all be happy and peaceful, living your lives with ease and joy!

Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche's "Three PIlls"

By: Bob Zeglovitch

Last Friday, I gave a talk based on Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche’s meditation practice of the “three pills” of stillness, silence and spaciousness. The recording can be found on the dharma talks page of the website. Tenzin Wangyal is a highly respected teacher in the Tibetan Bön Buddhist tradition. This is a practice that can be repeated many times during the day, in the spirit of “short sessions, many times” that is characteristic of Tibetan teachings. This is one concrete way of “actualizing” the continuous practice that Dogen speaks of. We turn our awareness to the qualities of stillness, silence, and spaciousness that are present, not pushing away the rest of our experience or manufacturing some special state. Instead, we are becoming familiar with what is naturally present, our original mind.

The essence of this practice is open and receptive non-doing, which seems to me to be in keeping with the core of shikantaza. While there is some directionality and intention associated with orienting toward these qualities of stillness, silence and spaciousness, it is subtle, gentle and not forced. The overall spirit is receptivity. My attempt at phrasing the “tasks” represented by the taking of the “three pills” is as follows: Come to stillness; listen for silence; and open to spaciousness. Then, as Tilopa says, rest.

I have found Tenzin Wangyal to be a refreshing and direct teacher. You can find a five minute talk by him on this practice here, and a fifteen minute talk here. If you are interested in learning more about this practice and related teachings, his book Awakening the Luminous Mind: Tibetan Meditations for Inner Peace and Joy is a good resource.

Tilopa's Six Words of Advice

By: Bob Zeglovitch

It is sometimes helpful to step outside one’s tradition in order to more clearly understand the tradition. I find that this is sometimes the case in Zen—either to read a description of practice that is consistent with Zen but put in different language, or to see a clear contrast in practices within the broader field of Buddhist meditation. An instance of the former is Tilopa’s Six Words of Advice (also referred to as Tilopa’s Six Nails), which we have been introduced to in our last couple of sessions at Just Show Up. These directions for meditation practice from the Tibetan Mahamudra tradition, for me, resonate strongly with the practice of just sitting/shikantaza as presented by Dogen. Many commentators note the similarities between Mahamudra and Soto Zen practice.

Tilopa was an Indian Buddhist monk in the tantric Tibetan Kagyu lineage, who lived from 988 to 1069. He was a “mahasiddha” (great adept) and the teacher of Naropa, another famed master in this lineage. Tilopa’s Six Words are also sometimes referred to as The Six Yogas of Naropa. The most direct translation (which in Tibetan consisted of just six words) is:

Don’t recall.

Don’t imagine.

Don’t think.

Don’t examine.

Don’t control.

Rest.

Ken McLeod, a modern practitioner and translator, has come up with a slightly longer and more fleshed out translation:

Let go of what has passed.

Let go of what may come.

Let go of what is happening now.

Don’t try to figure anything out.

Don’t try to make anything happen.

Relax, right now, and rest.

Both of these translations have their virtues and we may resonate with one over the other. The first is more pithy. It also has a more directed sense, which may feel restrictive or a bit harsh, or in the alternative could provide just the right feeling of firm boundary for one’s practice. The latter feels a bit more relaxed and permissive in tone, although the substance is essentially the same. I’d like to tweak it just a bit and for the fourth and fifth lines, suggest the following alternative phrasing in case it fits for you: “Let go of trying to figure anything out” and “Let go of trying to make anything happen.” This feels even a bit softer and has the advantage of the repetition of the “let go” instruction throughout. After one becomes familiar with the detail of the instructions, they could all be collapsed into the simpler instruction to “let go and relax”—or even just “relax.” This doesn’t mean, of course, to relax like you might by going into a light trance in a hot tub, or getting sleepy on the couch. Instead, it is the relaxation that naturally flows from and is in accord with the other instructions, which embody non-grasping. Coming at this from a different direction, I suppose one could start with the gesture of relaxing, which in turn is consistent with letting go of past, future, present, figuring things out, and making things happen or getting somewhere in our meditation.

These instructions have the flavor of non-doing and non-striving that is also present in Dogen’s Fukanzazengi. “Don’t try to figure anything out” harmonizes with “[y]ou should cease from practice based on intellectual understanding, pursuing words and following after speech…”. I’m also reminded here of the following sentences: “ Do not think good or bad. Do not administer pros and cons. Cease all the movements of the conscious mind, the gauging of all thoughts and views.” Tilopa’s “don’t try to make anything happen” harmonizes with Dogen’s “[h]ave no design on becoming a buddha.” The injunction to relax, or rest, squares with Dogen’s statement that the zazen that he is speaking of “is simply the dharma-gate of repose and bliss…”. While there may not be direct comparisons to the three lines advising one to let go of past, future and present, that instruction is certainly consistent with the “just sitting” style, where we drop likes and dislikes and practice simply being in the posture and vitally awake.

Tilopa directs: “don’t think.” Dogen’s pointer is to practice “non-thinking”, or thinking of not-thinking. My tentative sense is that these are likely in accord, and that the heart of the instruction here is not to banish all thought, but rather to relax the grip of thinking and to let go of our engagement with it. This theme has been discussed in earlier posts in relation to Dogen’s Fukanzazengi.

One last observation—I am struck by the instruction to let go of what is happening now. So often in modern mindfulness teachings we are taught to attend to the “present moment”, or to just “be right here, right now.” What is refreshing about Tilopa’s instruction is that it acknowledges that once you feel that you are in or with the present moment’s experience, it has slipped through your fingers and is changed, gone. This highlights a way in which modern mindfulness teachings may be encouraging some delusion. Tilopa encourages us to practice without any pretense of finding or noting the present. This relieves us of the need to try to grasp at what is essentially ungraspable. It doesn’t mean that we won’t have perceptions of what seems to be happening right now, but instead that we can let that perception or experience just fall away as it is naturally doing in any event.

Dogen's Dropping off Body-Mind in China

By: Bob Zeglovitch

Dogen traveled to China in 1223 and practiced in various monasteries there for about four years, returning to Japan in 1227. His enlightenment experience took place at Tiantong Mountain in 1225, practicing under the direction of the Caodong (Soto) Zen master Rujing. According to one biographical source, Rujing chided a monk sitting next to Dogen who had fallen asleep during an intensive meditation session: “To study Zen is to cast off body-mind. Why are you engaged in single-minded seated slumber rather than single-minded seated meditation.” Upon hearing this reprimand, Dogen attained a "great awakening”. He later entered Rujing’s quarters and reported that he had come “because body-mind is cast off.” Rujing responded approvingly, “Body-mind is cast-off (shinjin datsuraku); cast off body mind (datsuraku shinjin).” Dogen responded by telling Rujing, “Do not grant the Seal [of transmission] indiscriminately.” Rujing replied, “Cast off casting off.”

Keizan Jokin, an important Soto master two generations after Dogen, tells a similar story about the exchange with Rujing (with some extra elements) in his collection The Transmission of Light, although he leaves out the triggering incident of the sleeping monk (he does in another place state that Rujing scolded the entire assembly for sleeping). Keizan says that one night during meditation, Rujing said to the assembly that “Zen study is the shedding of mind and body.” Upon hearing this, according to Keizan, Dogen was suddenly and greatly enlightened.

I believe that the consensus among modern scholars is that the reprimand of the sleeping monk is a later fiction. I think that the account of his exchange with Rujing is similarly suspect. Interestingly, I’m pretty sure that Dogen does not include in any of his writings any description of the sleeping monk, of any great awakening experience that he experienced at Tiantong, or of the exchange with Rujing in his quarters. We can imagine that he perhaps did have a dramatic breakthrough of some sort that resolved his earlier doubts about the dharma but that he did not write about it—perhaps because his dharma (way) was one of continuous practice-enlightenment that did not stress the before and after experience of kensho (great sudden awakening). Or, perhaps his enlightenment was a deep but gradual unfolding. While the stories above may or may not be accurate, they have been carried forward in the tradition in the spirit of legend and practice instruction.

Dogen did write about his experience in China, in a text titled Hõkyõ-ki. It is an interesting read and is hyperlinked here. Dogen wrote to Rujing at or near the beginning of his time at the monastery, requesting permission to come to Rujing’s quarters so he could ask questions about the Dharma. He records Rujing’s response as follows: “From this time hence, day or night without regard to the hour, whether you are wearing your surplice (formal monk’s clothes) or not, you are free to come to my quarters and ask about the Way. I shall be just like a father allowing lack of ceremony in his son.”

Dogen wrote that Rujing taught: “Zen practice is body and mind dropping off. You have no need for incense-burning, homage paying, doing nembutsu (chanting Buddha’s name), performing penances, or reading sutras. Just single-minded sitting (shikantaza) alone.” Dogen says that he then asked Rujing, “What is ‘body and mind dropping off’?” Rujing responded: “Body and mind dropping off is zazen. When you do zazen singlemindedly, you are freed from the five desires [appetites for property, sexual love, food, fame and sleep] and eliminate the five restraints [hindrances].” Dogen challenged Rujing here, stating that the five desires and five hindrances were spoken of in the so-called doctrinal schools (the “Greater and Lesser Vehicles” based on various Buddhist sutras as opposed to Zen. Rujing rebuked him, stating, “Descendants of the patriarch Bodhidharma [meaning Zen followers] should not shun arbitrarily teachings of either Greater or Lesser Vehicle. Should a student betray the holy teachings of the Tathagata, how could he dare call himself a descendant of the buddhas and ancestors!”

Undettered, Dogen pressed on and commented that “doubters” nevertheless said that the three poisons (greed, anger and ignorance) as such are the Buddha Dharma and that the five desires are the way of the ancestors, and that “if you eliminate them you are in effect choosing the good and rejecting the bad just like followers of the Lesser Vehicle [i.e., followers of the early Buddhist sutras akin to our our modern vipassana tradition]. What about that?” The translator of this text (Waddell) comments that Dogen’s question reflected a tendency in certain Zen circles of the time to superficially express the absolute unity between passions and enlightenment, “equating passions and enlightenment in an easy formula that would downgrade the role of practice and realization.” Rujing answered Dogen’s question: “If you don’t rid yourself of the three poisons and five desires, you’re no different from …[various] non-Buddhist groups that were found [at the time of the Buddha]. If a follower of the buddhas and ancestors rids himself [or herself] of even one hindrance or desire, it will bring immense benefit. It’s the time he [or she] meets and buddhas and ancestors face to face.”

In another portion of the text, Dogen recounts Rujing stating that “descendants of buddhas and ancestors”hr begin by ridding themselves of the five hindrances and then rid themselves of the sixth.” Rujing explained that the six hindrances are made up of the five traditional hindrances and the restraint of basic ignorance. Dogen asked Rujing, “is there some secret method for removing the five hindrances and the six hindrances? Rujing smiled and asked him, “What is the practice you have been working on all this time? That in itself is the way to eliminate the six hindrances…When buddha after buddha and ancestor after ancestor divorced themselves of the five hindrances and six hindrances….they did so without any recourse to gradual stages but by pointing straight to the mind and transmitting the Dharma personally. You work singlemindedly on just sitting alone and arrive at dropping off of your body and mind—that is the way to break free of the five hindrances and five desires.”

According to Dogen’s account, Rujing was singularly focused on just sitting as the key practice, and that he emphasized that just sitting was dropping off body and mind. There is some scholarly doubt as to whether Rujing actually used the expression “body-mind”, or even “body and mind.” Perhaps I’ll take up this additional layer of complexity in another post. For now, the key point is that whatever happened at Tiantong Mountain, and whatever Rujing actually said, what Dogen carried forward to Japan (and beyond) was that the dropping off of body-mind through just sitting was the essential practice, not separate from enlightenment itself.

Dropping off Body-Mind (Shinjin Dakaratsu)

By: Bob Zeglovitch

While Dogen describes “nonthinking” as the “essential art of zazen”, it can also be said that “body-mind dropped off” is the practice of shikantaza, or just sitting. In the Fukanzazengi, after Dogen advises learning the backward step that turns your light inwardly to illuminate yourself, he says that “body and mind of themselves will drop away, and your original face will be manifest.”

The Japanese words for body-mind dropped off are shinjin datsuraku. Shinjin is a compound word for body and mind. You will sometimes see the translation as “body and mind”, although more frequently as “body-mind.” Dogen used this compound to express a unified and holistic phenomenon. Dogen scholar Hee-jin Kim describes body-mind as “one’s whole being.” Additionally we can let go of our sense of the ordinary boundaries of what we take to be “myself” as we express, experience and become intimate with our “whole being.”

Datsuraku is a compound word that is variously translated as dropped off, cast off, sloughed of. One commentator has suggested “shedding”. Steven Heine (another leading Dogen scholar) says that the term refers to the moment of spiritual release or liberation and that it suggests an activity that is at once passive/effortless and yet purposeful/determined. Datsu means to remove, escape, or extract. Raku means to fall, scatter or fade. Heine points out that datsu has a more outwardly active sense, even as it points to a moment of withdrawal from, omission, or termination of activity. Raku implies a passive occurrence that just happens, as in the scattering of leaves by the breeze.

I appreciate this description of the complexity of dropping off, which we might call “the letting go gesture of zazen”. It takes resolve and determination and is not something we can do halfheartedly. In another short text titled Zazengi (“Rules for Zazen”), Dogen tells us: “Be mindful of the passage of time, and engage yourself in zazen as though saving your head from fire.” At the same time, it involves doing nothing and yielding, surrendering, acquiescing to our insubstantial and impermanent nature. Heine says that: (1) the decision of datsuraku is one of discarding; (2) its impact is a matter of release, and (3) its immediacy lies in unburdening. We let go of the “I”, the sense of separate self that grasps at itself and the objects of experience.

The dropping of body-mind is not something that is the result of shikantaza practice, as in a before and after causal relationship. Instead, shikantaza/just sitting practice is the ongoing activity of dropping off body-mind. We are not aiming to arrive at some exalted “enlightened” state—it is this subtle activity of dropping itself that is the enlightening. We can approach practice—and enlightenment (which Dogen does not separate from practice)—and ourselves—as a verb rather than a noun.

Of course, just sitting practice won’t always feel like a release, an unburdening, a liberation! We may often be lost, asleep, stuck, or grasping. We can think of these moments not as problems but as opportunities—in Dogen’s words, through “studying the self” and “forgetting the self.” In those moments, we can practice this gesture of release, letting go and dropping off “body-mind.” Relatively speaking, we might perceive a moment of dropping as simply relaxing and releasing a bit from an obsessive train of thought, a critical self-judgment, or a bodily sensation. Or, the dropping may feel more dramatic as a deep ease in the body and spaciousness in the mind manifests. Ultimately speaking, however, there is no need to measure these moments of dropping. The practice is not one of improving—in itself a great relief! Just the dropping gesture itself, and ultimately dropping the concept of dropper and even dropping itself. I recognize that this last line sounds like improvement, and I confess that I don’t have an easy answer for that conundrum.

Forgetting the Self--Varying Translations of Dogen's Genjokoan

By: Bob Zeglovitch

This week at JSU we are taking up the crucial sentence in the Fukanzazengi: “Body and mind of themselves will drop away, and your original face will be manifest.” The dropping of body-mind is central to Dogen’s practice of shikantaza (just sitting). It is mentioned many times in his writing, with the most famous reference likely being the passage about studying the self and forgetting the self in his Genjokoan. One translation of this passage, by Kaz Tanahashi and Robert Aitken, is set forth on the Readings page of this website. Here are some others:

Norman Waddell and Masao Abe:

To learn the Buddha Way is to learn one's self. To learn one's self is to forget one's self. To forget one's self is to be confirmed by all dharmas. To be confirmed by all dharmas is to cast off one's body and mind and the bodies and minds of others as well. All trace of enlightenment disappears, and this traceless enlightenment continues on without end. 

Paul Jaffe:

To study the Buddha way is to study oneself. To study oneself is to forget oneself. To forget oneself is to be enlightened by the myriad dharmas. To be enlightened by the myriad dharmas is to bring about the dropping away of body and mind of both oneself and others. The traces of enlightenment come to an end, and this traceless enlightenment is continued endlessly.

Gudo Wafo Nishijima:

To learn Buddhism is to learn ourselves. To learn ourselves is to forget ourselves. To forget ourselves is to be experienced by millions of things and phenomena. To be experienced by millions of things and phenomena is to let our own body and mind, and the body and mind of the external world, fall away. [Then] we can forget the [mental] trace of realization, and show the [real] signs of forgotten realization continually, moment by moment. 

Francis Cook:

To study the Buddha Way is to study the self. To study the self is to forget the self. To forget the self is to be authenticated by the myriad things. To be authenticated by the myriad things is to drop off the mind-body of oneself and others. There is [also] remaining content with the traces of enlightenment, and one must eternally emerge from this resting. 

Thomas Cleary:

Studying the Buddha Way is studying oneself. Studying oneself is forgetting oneself. Forgetting oneself is being enlightened by all things. Being enlightened by all things is causing the body-mind of oneself and the body-mind of others to be shed. There is ceasing the traces of enlightenment, which causes one to forever leave the traces of enlightenment which is cessation. 

Kosen Nishiyama and John Stevens:

To learn the Buddhist way is to learn about oneself. To learn about oneself is to forget oneself. To forget oneself is to perceive oneself as all things. To realize this is to cast off the body and mind of self and others. When you have reached this stage you will be detached even from enlightenment but will practice it continually without thinking about it. 

Reiho Masunaga:

To study Buddhism is to study the self. To study the self is to forget the self. To forget the self is to be enlightened by all things. To be enlightened by all things is to be free from attachment to the body and mind of one's self and of others. It means wiping out even attachment to Satori. Wiping out attachment to Satori, we must enter actual society.