By: Shohaku Okumura
…In zazen we let go of our thought. This letting go is “not-understanding.” Thought is “understanding.” By letting go we “do not-understanding.” This sitting and letting go of thought, this opening the hand of thought, is the true Dharma eye. That means that we are not grasping things with our karmic consciousness or with the thoughts that arise from it.
“Karmic consciousness” refers to the storage of our past experiences. According to Yogacara teaching, our consciousness can be categorized into eight layers….[T]he deepest layer of our consciousness is our “storehouse consciousness.” All the experiences from birth or even before are stored in this deepest layer. When we encounter a new object or situation, we interpret it according to what kind of seeds are stored in our storehouse. The way we view and react to things depends on the seeds we have. This is karmic consciousness, and it is how we are unique: each of us has different seeds stored in our storehouse. That is the teaching of Buddhist psychology.
…Our zazen is a unique thing. We face the wall without an object. Still, many things rise in our consciousness. For example, I might think about an incident that made me angry, maybe yesterday. That event may be so powerful that no matter how many times I have tried to let go it still comes up. Actually, when I am sitting and facing the wall the incident is already over. It’s not reality anymore. But it continues in my consciousness as if it were real. During zazen I can see clearly that there’s no object, no person in front of me now. It’s an illusion, just energy that still remains from those seeds in my storehouse consciousness. So I can let go. When we let go without grasping, without taking action based on our thoughts, we are released from our karmic consciousness. This is the completely unique activity of zazen.
Of course, day-to-day things influence what’s going on in our minds. If someone recently triggered my anger, thoughts come up about that person while I’m sitting. I might try to figure out why the person said or did such a thing. Anger also may arise. Anger is a kind of energy; it comes back no matter how many times I try to let go. When I am sitting facing the wall, the person and the incident are already gone, yet the person is also still sitting within me. The instant that brought up my anger is gone yet still seems to be there. While sitting, I may try to figure out what kind of person this is and why he or she did this or that.
When I continue this way in zazen, moment by moment…, I get tired. Somehow my mind calms down. Eventually I realize that the reason this person did the thing that angered me is gone. The anger, though, is still there as energy. When I sit with this energy it goes deeper and deeper. This is no longer the anger caused by the particular action or particular person. Instead, I find that this anger is my self. And still I sit and try to let go of whatever comes up, to just keep sitting. Sometimes, not always, I experience that the anger disappears.
I have found that anger is not really caused by a particular person’s action. The anger is inside me. That person’s action or speech simply opens the lid of my consciousness. Feelings and thoughts always come from our own consciousness. They come up in zazen; when we let go, we can let go, and that’s okay. Zazen is a unique and precious practice. In the zendo we can let go of everything. This is really liberation – not only from our daily lives but also from the karmic consciousness created by our twisted karma. In zazen we are determined not to take action based on the thoughts coming and going; therefore we don’t create new karma. This is what it means that in zazen we are liberated from our karma.
My teacher… taught that zazen itself is the true Dharma eye. In other words, the true Dharma eye means not seeing things with our karmic consciousness. This is the meaning of [my teacher’s] phrase ”opening the hand of thought.” In ordinary life, thought leads to actions. When we open the hand of thought, we let go and no actions arise.
…Only in zazen can we stop making karma. When we leave the zendo we have to do something; to do something we have to make choices, and the choices I make depend on my values, which are influenced by my karmic consciousness.
When we stand up from the cushion and go outside we cannot let go of everything; it would be dangerous. When we leave the zendo we have to think again. We have to make choices about what we should and shouldn’t do. In daily life I need to think and take actions using my knowledge, understanding, values, and picture of the world…
Our practice in daily life is about creating wholesome karma. In this context, wholesome karma means to manifest in daily life what we experience in zazen: no separation between myself and other people and myriad things….That is our life based on zazen and the bodhisattva vows.
Note: This is from Chapter 1 of The Mountains and Waters Sutra